The Doubter

The Doubter

I’ve always had a place in my affection for the disciple Thomas, or ‘Doubting Thomas’ as he became known. We reflected on his experience of the resurrection as we met around the table for communion this past Sunday. Notes from the sermon can be found here.

I find that there is a huge part of myself that is decidedly skeptical. The story is that Thomas wasn’t there when Christ appeared alive to the other disciples. Thomas just won’t take their word for it. He wants to touch and see for himself.

No matter how reliable the other disciples were, or how close they had grown as friends, when it came to talking of impossible things like resurrections you just couldn’t take anyone’s word for it. Not even your closest friends. After all, Judas had been a close friend and look how that turned out! Better to trust nobody.

Things like resurrections just don’t happen. Unless you happen to be in a room and Christ stands there in front of you saying, “Here. Touch the scars”. How do you deal with that? Thomas did the only thing he could do. He bowed down and said “My Lord, My God”.

I suspect I am not alone in having those days when religious faith just doesn’t add up. I don’t want to take any persons word for it (be they friend or foe). I want to see. I want to touch. Don’t give me that ‘Blessed are those who have not seen, yet believed’ stuff, because it is not working; I want something more tangible.

And then Jesus shows up. No, not in the room as a visible person telling me to stick my fingers where a spear had pierced His side, but as a whisper in the wind or a phrase in the midst of an unexpected conversation. As a word of scripture suddenly becomes illuminated or in the midst of a prayer that I’m suddenly aware has become a conversation. I sense a presence and my heart is moved and involuntarily I’m thinking “My Lord, My God!”

Of course you are not going to take my word it. You are not living in my skin. And no I can’t prove it or explain it. In our Easter service we a number of times used the phrase ‘Christ is Risen. He is risen indeed.’ Ah, the mystery of faith!

Prayer: Lord, some of us understand Thomas all to well. We think we need to see. We say we cannot believe till we touch. Grant us eyes that see Your presence in unexpected places and ears to hear Your Spirit whispering our name in places we don’t always hear. May our doubts lead us to Your presence. Amen.